Men Are Like Microwaves…or Are They?
When a book arrives with a provocative title like The Existential Importance of the Penis, it risks being mistaken for sensationalism, but Dr. Daniel N. Watter’s work is anything but shallow. As a sex therapist, I found this book to be a thoughtful, timely, and clinically grounded exploration of male sexuality through the lens of existential psychology. Even among therapists, we have the tendency to oversimplify men’s sexuality.
Dr. Watter, a seasoned psychologist and sex therapist, challenges the dominant biomedical and performance-focused narratives that have come to define how we view male sexual functioning. Erectile dysfunction, for example, is often treated as a mechanical failure rather than a complex emotional or relational experience. Watter pushes back against this reductionist model, encouraging clinicians and clients alike to consider the deeper, often unconscious meanings men attach to their sexuality and what it means to be vulnerable, aging, or human.
Drawing from existential philosophers such as Viktor Frankl, Rollo May, and Irvin Yalom, Watter argues that male sexual concerns often emerge not from physical impairment, but from fears of inadequacy, meaninglessness, and the loss of identity. For example, the penis, often portrayed as a symbol of virility and control, becomes a metaphor for the fragility of masculinity, especially in a culture that equates sexual performance with self-worth.
What makes this book especially useful for therapists is its clinical relevance. Watter doesn’t just theorize; he brings in case examples and clinical reflections that help ground the existential material in therapeutic reality. He also demonstrates an unusual amount of compassion for the emotional terrain men often navigate in silence: shame; fear of failure; and the pressure to perform.
That said, the book is not a manual. It’s more of a conceptual companion for clinicians, and perhaps also for reflective men trying to make sense of their inner lives. Readers expecting tips, techniques, or treatment protocols may be disappointed. But for therapists who value depth over quick fixes, and who understand that sexual symptoms are often symptoms of deeper distress, this book offers rich and necessary insight.
Where the book shines most is in its invitation to move beyond the surface of sexual behavior and into the existential questions that shape it: Am I still desirable? What does aging mean for my identity? What happens when I can no longer do what I once could?
