Church Hurt
I recently read When Religion Hurts You: Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High-Control Religion by Dr. Laura E. Anderson, and I found it to be an invaluable resource for understanding and healing from religious trauma, particularly in relation to sexuality and pleasure.
Dr. Anderson's book sheds light on how high-control religions (HCRs) can significantly impact an individual's relationship with their own sexuality. She explains that HCRs often place heavy rules on sex and pleasure, which can lead to long-lasting damage.
A significant portion of the book focuses on the effects of purity culture, a common feature in many fundamentalist religious environments; however, as a result of True Love Waits, even those not in HCRs were impacted. This culture often leads to shame, guilt, and a disconnection from one's own body and desires. As a sex therapist, I've seen firsthand how these teachings can result in sexual dysfunction, anxiety, and difficulty forming healthy intimate relationships.
Healing involves:
Reconnecting with your body
Challenging internalized shame and guilt
Learning to set healthy boundaries
Developing a positive relationship with pleasure
I particularly appreciated that Dr. Anderson maintains that you can continue to have a healthy spiritual life and recover from church hurt. I find that clients benefit from using their faith as they are healing. I also admire her bravery—she took responsibility for the harm she may have caused when she was in a leadership position of a high-control church.
This book is a crucial read for anyone working with clients who have experienced religious trauma, especially in relation to sexuality and purity culture. It provides a compassionate, informed approach to understanding and healing from the deep-seated impacts of high-control religious environments on one's sexual self.
